


there is no end (there's no goodbye)

by gendryw4ters



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Era, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, a lot of m83 listening went into this, youre really gonna have to trust me on this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 08:28:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10940733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gendryw4ters/pseuds/gendryw4ters
Summary: It still felt rather surreal to him, to be there- surrounded by nothing but the chirping of birds and the rustling of leaves in the breeze.No screaming, no gunshots, no war.No Julian.





	there is no end (there's no goodbye)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ruinsrebuilt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruinsrebuilt/gifts).
  * Inspired by [for maximum impact, listen to this](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/291147) by M83. 



> because the world could just do with a little more babe/julian okay
> 
> (unbetad, and no disrespect intended. i hope you enjoy the ride) x

Empty. 

That was how Babe had felt that night in Bastogne; as he sat alone in his all too quiet foxhole. Each juddering exhalation fogged up the air around him; filling the space where the boy had once sat. The space that was all too-  

\- Empty. 

The boy-  

 _Don't pretend you don't remember_ _._  

Julian.  

Julian had gotten hit, and Babe had watched in horror as blood had bubbled out through soft, pale lips- parted in a silent, final "oh" as Julian had collapsed to the ground; choking on every anguished cry of help as it tried to force its way past the gaping wound in his throat. 

And Babe's own throat was raw that night, a sharp metallic taste having been lingering unpleasantly in his mouth ever since he'd broken down- screaming and spitting and biting at the hands that had tried to pull him away- away from Julian, _his_ Julian. 

His Julian. His Julian who had deserved so much better, so much more. Who had been so young, so full of love and life and a longing for both- so innocent, so pure. 

 _So gone. So wasted. And for what?_  

"He was a fucking kid- we're all just fucking kids! Doc, we-"  

"Edward- hey, Edward- shh, shh look at me okay? Listen to me-"  

And Doc Roe had tried, oh _God_ , he had tried. 

Kept coming to check up on him, talking to him. Kept him eating and drinking and warm and _living;_ even when Babe hadn't been so sure that living was something that he had really wanted to keep doing. 

 _What's the point? No Julian. No future. Gonna fucking die out here anyways_ _, why put off the inevitable?_  

They'd never found the body.

Doc kept trying to keep him hopeful, but there was no point- Babe felt he already knew. Knew there was no hope, knew that Julian was never coming back- that the Krauts had probably already robbed him of his valuables and thrown him into a mass grave with hundreds of other faceless young men to rot without a second thought.

Knew that -no matter how many times Doc Roe told him things were going to be okay and that someday they'd be together again- his world would always be empty.

Knew that there was nothing left in the universe that could ever possibly come close to filling it back up; not now, not ever. 

Until Austria. 

Babe had been sat on the shores of Lake Zell, basking in the soft lilacs of the early evening whilst skimming stones across it's pristine surface. It still felt rather surreal to him, to be there- surrounded by nothing but the chirping of birds and the rustling of leaves in the breeze.  

No screaming, no gunshots, no war.  

 _No Julian_. 

He sighed heavily, watching the pebbles as they bounced their way across the water; languid ripples rolling lazily back to the shoreline. It was mindless- meaningless- but it was something to do, at least. 

The others were back at base, laughing and drinking and sharing dreams of the future; a now tangible future, one only just out of their grasp for the moment.

But for Babe, there was no future, not anymore. 

Another softer, shakier sigh escaped him, and he closed his eyes tight, trying to will away the tears that just never seemed to stop coming. He never really noticed the figure emerging from the treeline behind him, too caught up in his own grief to care about the crunch of footsteps on rocky sand as they approached his hunched up frame. 

"They told me I might find you here." 

 _No._ His eyes remained shut. _No._ This wasn't real- another daydream, perhaps. There was no way- he- the voice was- 

He forced himself to turn around; to confront the empty space that he knew would be all to greet him- maybe tell it to fuck off, too. Just for good measure. 

Though when his eyes landed upon an all too familiar, all too real toothy smile, his heart had all but stopped. 

"Miss me?" The toothy smile had blossomed into a full-blown grin at Babe's gobsmacked expression; the sunset framing the face it had belonged to in a hazy golden glow.   

And then suddenly Babe was scrambling up the rocks, choked sobs and laughter bubbling up from his chest and wracking his entire body as he launched himself into the young man's arms, breathing in the heady scent that had kept him company all those nights they'd spent curled up together in the dingy foxholes of Bastogne. 

 _Julian._  

Almost as soon as he had flung himself into the embrace, Babe was pushing his way back out of it- hands balled into fists and beating softly against his lover's – _were they still? -_ chest. His warmchest, his _living_ chest, his living body and  _oh fuck_ he was alive _._  

Julian, _his_ Julian, was alive. His fists continued to smack against the other's ribs as he finally manged to find his words, "how could you?! How could you how could you how-". 

"Not exactly a hero's welcome, but I guess it's what I deserve," Julian had only laughed, grabbing hold of both of Babe's shaking hands and pressing them firmly back against his chest. Babe huffed out a laugh of his own at that; then another and another until he was giggling wildly- eyes still hot with unshed tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks at any moment. 

"That's more like it." 

"You- you fucking _bastard_! I thought you were fucking _dead_!" The tears were flowing full-force again, though they were punctuated with mirth- each rushed intake of breath shaking his skinny frame as hundreds of days' worth of bottled up emotions finally erupted from within.   

Julian's grip on his hands remained firm, pinning them palm-down against the ribcage that his heart was hammering so violently against. He had known Babe would be upset with him- maybe even angry- but he also knew more than anything what the shaking redhead in his arms had really wanted to hear.  

"I'm here, Babe," he had murmured softly as the other's sobs gradually reduced to little more than hiccups. "I'm here, and I'm safe, and I'm alive. I promised you I would be safe, remember? That we would always have each other. And I fully intend to keep it- no matter how many bullets try to stop me." 

Babe swallowed thickly as his eyes wandered down to the spot on his neck where Julian had been hit- a ragged, healing scar replacing the bloody gaping wound of before, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't want to know everything- oh God he really truly did- but right now all that he needed was this. 

Needed to feel Julian's strong heartbeat, needed to be held closely against it and never let go of. Needed to know that he wasn't alone, that Julian wasn't going anywhere anytime soon again. Needed to start rebuilding his world again because _fuck_ he could feel his chest filling up by the second- and suddenly things were no longer cold and they were no longer empty. They were warm and they were full and they were  _good._  

They returned to the shoreline together after that, Babe's grip on Julian's hand never once loosening even as they sat on the sun-warmed sands. Babe's head was resting on Julian's shoulder, and Julian's lips were moving softly against his temple; murmuring countless apologies and "I love you"s and "I missed you"s and "I need you"s as they watched the sun finally dip below the horizon; and only getting up to move when the evening chill began to nip at their skin. 

They meandered back to base together, neither in a hurry to have their privacy interrupted by the prying eyes of drunken, nosy men. Their fingers remained still tightly entwined; and warm smiles lit up their faces- both of them feeling lighter and more hopeful than they had done in months.

They were safe, they were together together.

And they were _alive_.

 

**Author's Note:**

> look i just  
> i needed this okay  
> we all needed this
> 
> i hope you enjoyed it!! (also look, im not sure how he made it either but he did. just for this. he did.)
> 
> love to you all <3


End file.
